Cruises can be cool! A teen sets sail for the Canary Islands on her first holiday at sea

So I'm going on a cruise. My first holiday at sea. I've been on the water before, but I'm normally rowing or snorkelling. This one, around the Canary Islands and taking in Madeira and Lisbon, looks like it might be something different.

I've got to take my Dad (he's paying and they won't allow me on board on my own).  I'm 14 and, though I'm told I look older, I'm not sure that's enough to get me beyond passport control. Though, when my Dad told me he had packed his white shoes, I wondered if it might still be worth a try.


He wore them to a party last Christmas and so I bought him a sign for the kitchen that says 'no dad dancing'. My Dad's alright, but not as cool as he thinks he is. Especially when he wears those shoes.

It's a family affair: Molly and her dad Lee breathe in the sea air on the deck of the Ventura cruise ship

Wardrobe malfunctions aside, I'm uncertain what to expect of the Ventura. I'm excited about something new, but have no experience of cruising. At least Mr Sensible has packed the sea sickness tablets and wrist bands, just in case. When Captain Clarke declares "we are about to fly into the teeth of a wind," he means it. Hold on.
This review is my review, with a few comments thrown in from you know who. He's written these before, so I guess he knows what he's talking about, even if he knows more about football and West Ham than holidays and cruising.
He did help with some statistics, finding out that 36million bread rolls are consumed on board the Ventura each year and 10,000 per day.

I should start by saying the food was excellent. So was the service. There are 13 restaurants on board and it's hard to find fault with any of them. Sometimes it feels like there is enough food to feed a continent.

Madeira magic: Winston Churchill and Roger Moore have both been guests at Reid's Palace Hotel

Mass produced food will often result in deteriorating standards, but not on board Ventura. I'm not quite sure how they do it: even the late afternoon Noddy session for young children seems to have never ending tray loads of delicious food, although I'm not sure Dad should have gate-crashed.
The idea of dressing for dinner - on holiday! - sounded dreadful before we departed but once on board, everyone makes such a wonderful effort that it no longer becomes a chore. Daily newsletters are clear in their direction (black tie, casual dress etc.) and men, women and children all seem to thrive on the sense of occasion.

How many scones? Ventura cruise food facts

The Ventura cruise ship carries 3,100 passengers and 1,226 crew. This is how much food they munch their way through in one year...

• 422 tons fresh or frozen potatoes
• 171,360 dozen eggs
• 36,500,000 bread rolls (10,000 per day)
• 259,200 litres of ice cream and sorbet
• 3,616,000 cups of tea
• 219,000 scones (600 per day)
• 5,475,000 meals (15,000 per day)

For the first two days, the weather wasn't great: storms, clouds, rain, heavy winds. But the sun came out as we headed towards our first stop (Madeira) and every day we found something new, creating a feeling of anticipation. It may be the same boat, but it felt like a series of different hotels, offering alternative experiences.

Madeira was charming. We took a rib boat out to sea with a marine biologist to try and spot whales and dolphins. Of the 28 mammals said to be swimming in this part of the Atlantic, we saw one - 'territorial' bottle nose dolphins, which are said to be quite shy but swam close to the rib.
It was still a worthwhile excursion, not least because we got some stunning views of Madeira from the sea. It looks to be an island worth revisiting.

We later went to the Reid's Palace Hotel (where Winston Churchill - and Roger Moore - once stayed). We popped in for a swim in the sea, having slipped in through the beautiful gardens for a nose around.
It is very grand and offers tours and afternoon tea. Its website states: "Set in subtropical gardens and overlooking the dazzling ocean, this legendary Orient Express hotel has set the standard of luxury in Madeira for more than a century." It is quite stunning.

The next day we arrived in La Palma, off the North West Coast of Africa, which is proud of the fact that it is very Spanish and doesn't cater (much) for tourists. We shopped and strolled for handmade rolled cigars (not for me) and then headed out to the 'best beach on the island', Playa De Los Cancajois.

Pecking order: Molly meets the penguins at Lisbon's aquarium

It was peaceful and pretty, with its spectacular surrounding cliffs and black sands. We spent the rest of the day there, enjoying a dip in the ocean and escaping the rest of the passengers. If you think being on a cruise with 3500 Brits you will be herded around like cattle, think again: we read the guide books and found our own escape.
I wanted to go on a submarine ride in Gran Canaria next but we didn't book soon enough and two trips were fully booked. It's worth booking the excursions in advance to avoid disappointment. Sorry if that sounds like the advice of a travel agent.

It was a mistake because the island wasn't inviting. Dad said the port looks like Tilbury Docks (I've never been) and the island reminds him of Tower Hamlets.

Least attractive island: Gran Ganaria's port reminded Lee of Tilbury Docks in Essex

We had a walk, a swim in the sea and then beat a hasty retreat back to the boat, where we sat talking to a nice family from Somerset, who were having an equally lovely time on the cruise and were also looking forward to escaping from the latest stop. It was their ninth cruise!

We'd eaten on board at a restaurant called the Glasshouse the night before. It is marketed as a wine connoisseur’s paradise with the food as an accompaniment. Don't be fooled. The food is outstanding, the best on board (so far) and presented beautifully.

I had the special burger (lamb and mint) with tapas-style starters, including tiger prawns, quail scotch eggs and bruschetta.  It was a real treat.

What a blast: Steam shoots from the ground in Lanzarote's national park

Next up was Lanzarote, where we took ourselves off to the Fire Mountains (Montanas del Fuego) by taxi, which we picked up in the port.
The three-hour round trip cost €95 but we had our own personal guide and he knew his stuff.
He took us to the national park, where we climbed a volcano and experienced ground temperatures of 140 degrees centigrade.
We picked up a handful of small stones, which we were standing on, and couldn't hold them without burning.

Two feet below the surface it is 460 degrees centigrade and they prove this by pouring cold water into the ground and then watch it shoot back up as steam within seconds.
Another demonstration placed branches of straw onto a rock and it sets alight instantly.
We still had time to shop for local ceramics and wines and spend a few hours on a vast, sandy beach where we swam and saw many fish. I liked Lanzarote.
From Lanzarote to Lisbon and the journey home begins... but not before a morning in the spa. Dad went for a massage, I headed for a 'fire and ice' pedicure. There is a special adults-only section at the front of the boat, near the gym and spa. I might have to come back and try that in a few years.

Lisbon is delightful and we took an open-top bus ride to the city’s main attractions before spending time in the aquarium with the giant turtles, sharks, penguins and a very cute otter, which posed for pictures and seemed to love the attention. I wanted to take him home.
Then it was time to return to the UK, but I can't finish before mentioning the entertainment. The Headline Theatre Company was said to be 'West End Standard' and they were terrific.
They seemed to make everyone smile with their energy and positive vibe during their themed nights.

In a spin: Molly and Lee - complete with infamous white dancing shoes - take to the stage

Their routines looked like hard work from the best seats and we saw them in each of their five performances when they took us from the Lion King to Michael Jackson, but ended up with an obscure Bucks Fizz number.

Motown signer Clem Curtis took my Dad back through the ages and we both ended up on stage dancing. With dad in his white shoes. Which proves anything is possible.

So it was a bit crazy and good fun being away on a cruise with my Dad. Next time, I'd like to bring my Nan, Grandad, Auntie and Cousin too. You should try it as well.

Travel facts

P&O Cruises is offering a 12-night Canary Islands cruise on Ventura (N325) departing September 29, 2013 from £899 per person for a Getaway Fare*. The price includes an inside cabin, full board meals, daily afternoon tea, age-specific children's clubs and entertainment with a special celebrity performance by The West End Men, featuring Lee Mead.
Departing from and returning to Southampton, ports of call include Madeira, La Palma, Tenerife, Lanzarote and Lisbon.

New for summer 2014, Ventura will be based in the Mediterranean, offering a variety of seven and 14-night fly-cruise holidays. Available from late March to October, Ventura will sail around Italy, Spain, France, Monaco, Greece, Croatia and Corsica.